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LIVING WITH DEPRESSION

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If you want to see more, you can help me out by joining my website with exclusive content: https://napiorkowska.ning.com/ ($3.49.month) Hope this helps you understand the process. I made this because many people seem to think that being depressed is something you choose and that in the end, it all comes down to looking out the window and listening to sad music. The truth is, it's very much beyond your control. OPEN FOR MORE. ------------------- No, I have never suffered from depression. I've known and lived with people who are bipolar for many years now and this is why I think I might have a pretty good understanding of how things work. I'm not in the positon to give you any advice on how to cope with it. If you think you might be suffering from depression, please visit a specialist. You have to trust me - it's the only way to go about it. Please feel free to share your story in the comments. Others might need it. This is where you can seek help: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ http://www.suicide.org/suicide-hotlines.html http://samobojstwo.pl/ written, shot & edited by me. find me on: http://facebook.com/napiorkowska.official http://instagram.com/napiorkowska http://knapiorkowska.com http://napiorkowska.tumblr.com http://vimeo.com/kate89 http://www.midnightclothing.net/ music: Chris Zabriskie: I Am a Man Who Will Fight for Your Honor - Creative Commons Attribution (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) http://chriszabriskie.com/honor/ http://chriszabriskie.com/ Podziękowania dla Starogardzkiego Centrum Kultury.
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Text Comments (23285)
SAM STEMS (11 hours ago)
Weak shit,
SAM STEMS (11 hours ago)
Giving people justification and false reasons, for their dull and stupid state of mind.
SAM STEMS (11 hours ago)
Booooo
Irrelevant (15 hours ago)
I’m nothing I feel like nothing I been ignored as nothing as well I feel like I’m irrelevant like in the name of me I have been not included in my life I feel like I’m in a well and there is no rope no escape I just soak for eternity and everyone is just digging and digging and digging until I can never get out of it but sometimes I try to escape but then I just give up and drop in the well we’re people that are perfect or successful are just digging the well and I hate myself for that , I hate myself because I don’t try , I don’t try to get out because I know the truth I’m never ever getting out of that well
Eszter Tóth (15 hours ago)
You are ashamed of everything you done everything you haven't.. Yes. I know this feeling..But why a person feel this when suffering from depression?
That Girl (16 hours ago)
Depression isn’t quirky, it is not funny. To all the people that actually feel numb, you WILL pass this I PROMISE you.
luckyN k (1 day ago)
"Why would you keep on trying if nothing makes you happy anyway"
kodak (1 day ago)
i hate it when people think they’re depressed. it’s not like that. it’s not sadness that just comes and go once in a while, it’s every second of the day, every heartbeat.
desdemonica (1 day ago)
oh fuck. please. help me
Zaki (1 day ago)
Every mere human will inevitably go trough depression at some point in their existence.
غنى غندور (1 day ago)
Third choice : fight your way up and don't give up
JustDavidEGS (1 day ago)
My sister died my Dad Killed Hiself When i was 8 My 2 Granpas Died Now im 11 And i have a depresion And a compulsive disorder
Yeon Ki min (1 day ago)
I act so happy around other people and when im alone, i fight my battle. The scars come, and go. But i always have some. I have so different emotions around other people, that i dont even know who i am. How to feel. I have been diagnosed, but no one believes me. Probably because im 11.
Sharise Marilyn (1 day ago)
This was weak... could have been explained way better and in depth... I have depression and they made it just look like sadness, where is the frustration and falling to your knees screaming, pulling your hair out and sobbing in excruciating pain because you cant get out of it? Or staying in bed for days in a row skipping showers and when you attempt to leave the bed to make something simple like coffee, you fall to the ground because you don't have enough energy to stand long enough to wait for the coffee to finish brewing? Or attempting to drive but your brain is so foggy you cant think clearly and are zoned out making a lot of errors. Skipping meals from lack of appetite and losing weight or constantly ordering food delivery service since you can't leave the house and overeating to fill the void... And stressing about financial matters because you are unable to work or even get to work... it's more than sadness... it's a crippling disorder
Katsim. 14 (1 day ago)
My anxiety makes me feel depressed because I spend all my time worrying about bad things
Dance Addict (2 days ago)
Am I the only one in the comments that doesn’t have depression
gabriel dumitrescu (2 days ago)
This Feels Like I'm Looking At myself
gabriel dumitrescu (2 days ago)
Preach
alexandra protacio (2 days ago)
but please remember, you can’t choose to have depression.
Treasure Mngadi (2 days ago)
Best video on this subject!
Tirth (2 days ago)
When parents force you to go out to handle business... No fucking break in life ever provided then it comes *suicide* .
anothai eamlumnow (2 days ago)
Social anxiety
Suga BTS (3 days ago)
this is so relatable that my heart aches alot
Philly (3 days ago)
About 5 years I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes I was in 7th grade had a lot of friends all the way till I dropped out of highschool because I couldn't keep going with the fake laughs fake smiles I went ghost on all my friends and still am I'm 22 living in the in the Bronx and the only thing that helps me is traveling to the Caribbean I don't know why but travelling helps a lot but as soon as I come back the cloud is back over my head I honestly might end up moving to the Caribbean because I rather be happy than miserable maybe it's the Bronx and the loud city idk if you're suffering travel please travel it's like natural medicine
•Rose Videos• (3 days ago)
I had depression but I was probably more dramatic and also lost all my friends... but it passed and I’m a lot happier now! Also now I can say I have held a knife up to my self... I told you I was dramatic...
Blue bri gacha (2 days ago)
I also had a deppresion But I didn't really know Well it wasn't a full deppresion it was a pre deppresion I don't know how to name it But it's over now and I don't know how I managed to heal without help
Ev M (3 days ago)
Omg are u like "living with" everything
Logan Smith (4 days ago)
nice titts
Chloe (3 days ago)
Logan Smith wtf is wrong with you
Gonçalo Carvalho (4 days ago)
IT´S the most painful thing on this planet
Chloe King (4 days ago)
I have depression and its almost as if im always begging for attention yet i dont want it. i want to talk about it but i dont want to bother anyone. the worst thing in the world is when someone gorgeous calls themself ugly and your just sitting there like.. if youre ugly than what the actual fuck am i? how could you not be more greatful? i have no friends at school who care about me. im not any of MY best friends BEST friends. I only hang out with them so it looks as if i dont hate myself as much as i do. i also get worked up over stupid things. like a girl i like not calling me back. thats whats happened to me today and i physically dont feel like i can get out of bed. ive cried all day and eaten nothing. i just try to feel something by banging my head against the wall and stifling sobs in my pillow. thats only if i can muster up the energy to cry. did i mention i havent gotten more than 5 hours of sleep per night this week? my father refuses to give me medication or take me to a therapist. i dont know what to do with my life. yes my depression is genetic. my mother got so depressed that she shot herself in the head when i was eleven. i just dont want to end up like her.
Chloe King (3 days ago)
+Krab Apple Thank you.. i barely know you yet your words weigh so much. I needed that. I wish there were more people out there like you. <3
Krab Apple (4 days ago)
Chloe King I promise you life is worth living. Even if you don’t see the point right now. I just want to let you know that you matter ( yeah it seems like an overused statement but I mean it. Even if I don’t know who you are) I’m here if you want to talk/rant also.
Ena Domazet (4 days ago)
I miss my smile ...
Lula luli (4 days ago)
I feel so alone, so ignored and I feel that nobody really cares about me, that if I'm dissapear nobody will know
Krab Apple (4 days ago)
Lula luli I know how you feel. But I promise, there are so many people that care about you. I’m here if you want to talk. Stay strong
Lula luli (4 days ago)
I'm tired of everything
faris mansor (4 days ago)
I feel u
ILOVEITWHENTHEYRUN (4 days ago)
Am I the only one who has watched this 40x
sallama hasan (5 days ago)
Depression begins to disappear from your life when you begin to find something to do. Depression is enhanced by emptiness
Meren Ozzy (5 days ago)
Life is really not worth it if we are not happy. I am so depressed. I am a failure and i blame no one but just me. I dont wanna live but at the same time i am too afraid about what lies at the other side of the unknown world. I just wanna be happy
Mirran (5 days ago)
I can relate so bad, wanting to shut everybody out of my life and just torture myself because I don't care anymore. People know that depression exist but still they don't understand. It makes me feel alone, unworthy, ashamed because they make me believe that I come up with things in my head that are not real, that I pity myself when I clearly don't. I already tried to attempt suicide multiply times bet I always stopped myself, because I know that nothing will change. And from that it becomes an evil cirkle that repeats every day, from trying to torture myself to not feeling any emotions. It's so stupid "why can't I appreciate life?", because in my head it's stupid to ignore the pain.
Farhan Tajwar (6 days ago)
Watch the video " Dear Depression- spoken word" -
LakeDragon Blood (6 days ago)
Something is wrong with my brain cause for some reason it wants depression. It hits, it sucks, it leaves, and I want it back
Nas eazye (6 days ago)
Tjis makes me want to listen to 1800 suicide by Gravediggaz
Sam A (6 days ago)
We are a collection of atoms created by exploding stars. Think hard about this fact. This means life is essentially purposeless, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t beautiful. The beautiful comes from the fact that we are as much a part of this universe as anything/everything else, and without you the universe wouldn’t be whole. You do have meaning, and your meaning is to exist and know that no matter how life may feel, it’s only temporary; so fundamentally don’t worry about being worried, depressed, scared or whatever, because in the end it will not change the outcome. You are wonderful, you have this incredible opportunity to explore your temporary consciousness however you please, but you will find happiness, and if you haven’t found it yet, do not give up, keep looking, you are stronger than you think. Rather explicitly: Fuck what others say, in fact you can even ignore me if you like but do not let people define you. You have as much right to be happy as anyone else, but only you can seek that happiness.
Gerald (5 days ago)
Really cool explanation
nebitna osobica (6 days ago)
I suffered from depression for a long time, it was the worst period of my life. You just felt heavy. It's the first thing you feel in the morning and the last thing when you go to sleep. It's not just grief and sadness. It's about feeling empty, heavy and pointless. Your days are not just sad, they're... just days. You have nothing to remember them by, they are just passing and every day is the same, and that includes activities and emotions. You are just...not. And I made it out. I don't suffer from depression anymore, but I have almost every kind of anxiety, panic attacks and breakdowns are common and i know that they are part of me. They are reminding me of everything i've been through. So there is hope. It's so little and for you it maybe seems like its meaningless but trust me, there is a difference. I love you all,stay strong❣
Julia Paige (6 days ago)
I dont want to die but I want everything to stop hurting
Tomnik 95 (6 days ago)
Is just what It feels like...
Chandrima Shekhar Das (6 days ago)
I'm here for my friend. He doesn't even tell me how he exactly feels. I really wanna be with him
Han Hyun Jae (7 days ago)
I really! Miss the old me Always laughing and smiling but now I'm depressed I don't like anyone.... I just like to stay in darkness .....
Talented Potato (7 days ago)
Depression is weird It’s like there’s always a sadness inside you. You can laugh at a joke or have a conversation but it’s just there. All the time. You feel like there’s no point in living if every single day is a battle. You try to make others happy to make yourself feel better. Then you start to feel like you care about people but no one cares about you. So why are you even trying to help them. Then you feel selfish. You talk yourself down and it’s hard to control. You want to ask for help but your scared of people not taking you seriously or thinking your crazy. So you don’t ask so you can avoid hating yourself more. You loose interest in things and even when you do them it feels pointless. You feel like you should give up on everything. And the only reason you don’t end it is because you don’t want to hurt others,but then you start feeling like no one would care if you died...
Getrekt TV (7 days ago)
YOU ARE NOT DEPRESSED
Haithem Harireche (7 days ago)
يا رب بكل اسم هو لك فرج همي و اذهب عني الحزن ...
Just a Loser (7 days ago)
Something I hate is when I’m my friends say “oh yeah my life sucks” with huge smiles on there faces.. I hate how they seek attention
Gianna Kost (7 days ago)
Sometimes i dont feel nothing just numb
Farida Shahid (7 days ago)
People say "just think positive things". I mean come into our shoes and then u'll realize that thinking "positive thoughts" is just shit. The pain and struggle u have to go through is.....
Diyar Oso (7 days ago)
A lot of people acting like they're having depression and they're not there is a huge difference between those who have some life pressures and people who have depression acting like you have a mental illness is a mental illness by it self
The legend (8 days ago)
just follow me
The legend (8 days ago)
its very simple
Donald Boston (8 days ago)
They’ve confused the dying of my skies for the twinkle in the night I suppose there are worse things to be called than starlight
Fakher Daabek (8 days ago)
its been 3 years since i watched this video for the first time .. i always hope ill be a different happy person when i watch it again but nothing changes since then .. fuck.
I can't tell if im depressed or not. Im too numb to distinguish that. Anxiety is burning me inside out tho, that's for sure. When I'll snap? Hopefully never. Everyday seems to be a day closer to something bad. I can feel it in my guts. Everyday I regonize myself less in my actions. I can't even regonize myself in the mirror anymore. This is terrible. Only alcohol is keeping my mind tied up, but I can feel that it could tear anytime soon. Im so tired. :(
Nenhuma idéia (8 days ago)
Pff! Its been years like this for me. If its the case for you, do not seek help and die already. There are already so much idiots on earth.
Oda Gjendem (8 days ago)
I Get sad when Im not sad
Rimas - (8 days ago)
I don't belong to this world. I don't feel like I can fit in. Everybody disagrees with me. I am different. I tried for years to find a partner who understands me but all of my attempts have failed. I live in a circle where regrets are the only thing that exists. I am in a fight with the culture, traditions, religions, and society. I am a prisoner of my thoughts, I live in anxiety. I want to scream as much as I can...
Vipul Gupta (8 days ago)
You develop the nothing matters mentality and do things just for the sake of doing them.
T J (8 days ago)
I'm tired
Sarah Alshareef (8 days ago)
I’m 13 years old and have been diagnosed with depression for the past year. I don’t know what I will do in the future. I don’t know when this will end. I’m very lonely. I have never had a friend in my life. I also suffer from anxiety from an early age. everyday i just feel empty and stupid I can’t handle it anymore, I tried to kill myself many times and the last time was before couple weeks ago, i ate 7 pills but my miserable life saved me, if you had depression in your past and you got rid of it please tell me how😭 i tried everything. I tried medicines and everything that could get that depression away from me but nothing worked
Saleel Mhatre (8 days ago)
Or you just keep on living
JustPlayzGames YT (9 days ago)
Damn........... SHE LOW-KEY THICC.
CatalystHD (9 days ago)
I come back to this video just to read some comments.. As for someone that deals with depression, Just know, I love you guys. You're not alone, no matter how alone you truly feel. All of those that relate to this, and feel it in your bones.. We're in this together. <3
SafireCutie 101 (9 days ago)
I feel like I can cry whenever. But I can’t smile whenever
Hello you (9 days ago)
In the end, people always leave me.
Shyana Hemingway (9 days ago)
Ihate not understanding why im sad. At this point it isn't sadness it,'s depression and not hsving a reason makes it even worse, but hey I'm the one who's always smiling and laughing hard, making the funniest jokes to keep everyone happy! But it's but a mask. It's a face of me trying to make myself feel better but i can't and I have really bad anxiety to where everything scares me and it only gets worse at night. But it's fine I'm just being dramatic I'm happy.
annika burton (9 days ago)
i have a depressed friend.... and it sucks to see her scars on her wrist and the sadness in her eyes while i KNOW she is probably forcing a smile, but thats people who are claimed they are depressed because they had a bad week or say they are depressed for the aesthetic piss me off. truss me.. ik what real depression looks like. i see it in my best friend everyday
Ceejhae CS (9 days ago)
i usually hide from everything with my phone this way i could find my source of happiness. im sorry that i might mis spell words because english is not my main language. im from philippines and i started as a happy chubby kid who does nothing but playing outside enjoying school staying positive caring back then the worlds brigther than now my childhood friends are gone they disappeard or became drug addicts. i usually play with spring type pellet guns and walk arround the streets with them but now theyre gone i dont know what happened to this one friend of mine we met at nursery maybe his mother is a drug addict she hid away and now my friend dis appeard idk what happened to him but i ended up finding the other 2 2nd one became a drug addict. he is a bit older than me like 17 or lower im now 15 ive been throught alot hearing these words coming from other peoples mouths that im nothing or get bullied because i get mad easily or i cant fight now i learnt how to fight almost no one messes with me now all that hurts me the most is my mother calling me worthless lazy and she said im worse than my father. the wordni cant forget from her is “kill yourself”. my father is at usa i cant even communicate with him he never took care of me since he had a different wife now he got 2 girls preg i dont even know many siblings i got.. now im in 8th grade i think that im failing again. ive chose bad habits and friends i started smoking at 11 of age and alcohol caused by stress and curiosity. im always trying to live on telling myself its temporary but the truth is. no its not it only gets worse they say you will get better to make you feel better all i wanna say is to those whose feeling the way i do right now is your the only one who can help. yourself. i might not make it to my goal but atleast i did my best holding on ive tried multiple attemps but i couldnt do it i did adrenaline stuff such as sneakin in buildings and chill on rooftops looking at the ground concrete i always wanna be happy again my childhood was confusing but i atleast felt my last happyness. atleast im still alive i lived with depression for years i couldnt leave because i love my mom also my dog. im worried what would happen to them if im gone who would defend them. i risked getting on jail defending my mom while shes on a fight with a neighbor i rushed in and hit that bitch. if i dont survive this. my note would be inside my shoes hidden and my last words are “do you even realise how cruel and permanently damaging this is?” i dont seek attention. i only want to share others how im permanently like this i wont move on. and i want to let others know that no one could help them but theirselves.
Mary 789 (9 days ago)
I just want it to stop 💔 i don’t know what else to try. No one understands that you can have friends, go to work, school and have the best grades, laugh with everyone but deep inside you’re in pieces, you cry yourself to sleep, waking up feels like the hardest thing and sometimes you just wish to die.
leslie chan (9 days ago)
La depresión lo adquirí al tener 6 años. Actualmente me ha dominado igual, justamente en un momento importante de mi vida... pero no tengo la misma motivación de antes ¿que se puede hacer? Ni siquiera yo tengo la respuesta.
Charlotte (9 days ago)
My 4th day of a horrible mood. I feel... no emotion. I think I’m slipping back into depression. I can’t even work out if I attempted suicide the other day because I don’t remember what I thought. I just tied a scarf around my neck and tried to strangle myself. Maybe I’ve been depressed my whole life, I always got suicidal and self harm thoughts before this day anyway...
alfianinda (9 days ago)
I am ok.
Aravise (9 days ago)
I can't stop crying. Your video felt like I was looking at myself in a mirror...everything is so accurate.
Sopor S (9 days ago)
20 years. "I have seen it all" as Bjork sang...
Matthew Spindley (10 days ago)
I don’t know what to do
kawazaki sama (10 days ago)
Depression kills my soul, I'm dead I'm not alive 😞
kawazaki sama (18 hours ago)
green tae yes 😞😞😞
green tae (1 day ago)
this is how jjong felt ,,, &&& i rlly understand how he feels
Bryan Michael (10 days ago)
I don’t care about who misses me when I die but I’m so scared of the pain of dying. I don’t know the feeling of true like death-I’m dying-type of pain. My mental and emotional body have been long gone the deep end for awhile . My physical body is only really left and Idk how to free my soul from this jail of a human vessel. I’m so tired of this 3D plane, it’s shit. I hate this planet so much.
Cynthya T (10 days ago)
Even though I live, I’m not really alive. 😞
Person Dos (10 days ago)
My depression is a comedian for some reason e.g Depression:shoot urself Me: why? Depression: it’ll be funny Me: if I die u die Depression:idc do it anyway Me:hmmm???
Grzegorz (10 days ago)
Is possible to have depression and social anxiety at the same time?
kawazaki sama (10 days ago)
Every thing is possible me I have all them , depression, bipolar, social anxiety, overthinking .. Fuck my life I want to die
Bryan Michael (10 days ago)
Grzegorz yes, living example here😖
Kafka H (10 days ago)
It’s been almost 2 years struggling with depression. Couldn’t find peace in anything. Last hope for is to try Vippassan which is a way of meditation, and dealing with reality. Please please please before u commit a suicide give yourself this chance, try Vipassana meditation ppl in hundreds of thousands are into it. It’s free in everywhere. Don’t give up and simplify your life. I wish u all the best , we are all struggling and want a sense of purpose in this life.
Michael Fitzpatrick (10 days ago)
Wow wow this is so hard hitting and exactly how it is , but so few people understand the true insidious disease that is depression and exactly how hard it is to deal with.
Daniel (10 days ago)
Depression is a wake up call. It is your body saying "f*ck you, I don't want to play this character anymore that you make me play. I want to be real, I want to be authentic, I want to be true to what I know deep in my heart, I don't want to pretend anymore". Depression is a call to let go of all the pretences and all the effort to be someone we are not, and start being who we really are, start loving ourselves for who we really are. Until we agree to shed off all that is false in ourselves and start living from the heart, we will not 'come out' of depression. It can be the greatest gift in the world, if it can wake us up to the fake persona we have been playing, and show us that our true heart is calling us, the forgotten heart that we pushed aside so many years ago in order to 'fit in' in order to appear as 'cool'. Depression is a call to wake up. Wake up to who we really are and drop all the exhausting pretence and efforts to be who we are not.
shihino shin (10 days ago)
This is so true i started to lost energy i strted to lost interest in everything
kina meen (10 days ago)
Happiness 🍁 Sometimes you play hide and seek with me
Swati Priya (11 days ago)
Very painfull living with depression ; am also living with depression a lots ! ☹☹
claudio perez lara (11 days ago)
En español cabron!!
minhyuksz (11 days ago)
this is the video; that night I was just tired, just bored at all. I cried so much, but so fucking much that I had the felling that my eyes would burn. felling so dawn, like I wasn't part of this all?. I never wanted to kill myself. you know when you hurt some part of your body and then you just want to take this part off? because it is very painful? that's it. it hurts a lot, and you want to do something, as fast as you can, because you can't take it anymore, so, you try. I tried to kill myself. I didn't want to, I don't want to end this entire life, because idk what the future deserves to me. I feel so sorry for me, I feel much, much! I love myself, I just don't wanna suffer anymore, but I will try, for me; just, for, me. ♡
Oliwia Kurpinska (11 days ago)
Twój głos jest taki .. relaksujący😌
MY depressing quote called no self esteem : I hate myself . Scars on my legs and arms , fat , flat ulgy face and body . out of school rejected. my Squad (friends) dead ,It's all in my head nightmares .I cut , bite , hit , punch , scream , shout and cry . I overeat my insides are all sick . I'm lonely , horny and on my phone alot . I feel dead , empty , numb and I don't exist . Autusm a curse , depression a silence nightmare , OCD torture , Social anxiety an embrassment , paranoia a guilt trip and Social psychosis disability very tiring.
Beam SN (11 days ago)
what is reason your depression
Anna Chan (12 days ago)
I really think psychiatrists should really understand mental disorders to actually help people with them. Most of them just say "it's a phase" to depression or "it's because of the exams" to anxiety. People who actually beat depression should help other people to beat theirs.
Melissa Castillo (12 days ago)
I've been diagnosed with depression since I was 9. Some people say they miss being happy, but I've been depressed for so long that I have actually forgotten how it feels like to be happy...if there was a time I was happy at all.
Michael Malik (12 days ago)
Her voice sounds like an apple add but it’s serious
Ling Ling (12 days ago)
I wish I could show my parents this video, it explains exactly how I feel. But I’m scared they’ll just say it’s me being lazy or it’s not depression. I feel like my parents hate me, I don’t blame them I hate myself too. I know they wish I was different and a perfect kid, I do too. Im sorry I’m like this mom, I wish you loved me.
Thanos GNS (12 days ago)
Yea and all the 16 yo girls who watch anime will comment "oww im depressed"
Yeasmin Zarina (12 days ago)
Depression is equivalent to coma...
Random Dogface (12 days ago)
Do you have that one person that you love, that makes you happy when you think about that person, but that person will never love you... so you are sad and depressed again? Because that‘s my life right now...

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