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Sabrina Benaim - "Explaining My Depression to My Mother"

241314 ratings | 7899979 views
Get Sabrina's book here: http://bit.ly/sabrinamagic Make Button Poetry grow: http://bit.ly/buttonpatreon Subscribe to Button! New video daily: http://bit.ly/buttonpoetry If you loved this poem, check out Kait Rokowski: http://bit.ly/1olARIP Performing for Toronto during semis at the 2014 National Poetry Slam. Subtítulos en español por Candela Glikin Encuentra más videos con subtítulos en español en STAIN Subs: Subtitles in Spanish by Candela Glikin. Find more videos with Spanish subs on STAIN Subs: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCT8M-85gpFEhJW-ReQNpJkw Subtitles in Italian by Francesco De Caro: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSrmQbgh7FO8EmYE61AiD4g Follow Button on Facebook: http://on.fb.me/SG5Xm0 About Button: Button Poetry is committed to developing a coherent and effective system of production, distribution, promotion and fundraising for spoken word and performance poetry. We seek to showcase the power and diversity of voices in our community. By encouraging and broadcasting the best and brightest performance poets of today, we hope to broaden poetry's audience, to expand its reach and develop a greater level of cultural appreciation for the art form.
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Text Comments (6192)
Rainbow UniPenguins (2 hours ago)
I was at a color guard competition, and this started with say something in He background. The girls started dancing, but I wasn’t paying attention. I was listening to the words. It hooked me in right at the start. I was crying around he end. When she said neither can I, all the girls turned towards the audience, and yelled with her. I burst into tears. Because I relate to this. And I didn’t think it was true. I didn’t want to think it was true. My friend I was sitting with could tell I was struggling, but she was part of the reason I was depressed. I liked her. But I’m a girl. She’s a girl. So I can’t like her. My family is completely Christian. When my friend could tell I was struggling, she grabbed my hand and took me out of there. But I didn’t want her to see me like that. So I ran off. This happened yesterday. I haven’t talked to her, and she hasn’t talked to me. She knows I need space sometimes, but I’m gonna need space for awhile.
AMY-LEE KELLOGG (14 hours ago)
i got shivers
The Kelp Crown (16 hours ago)
I'm just so shocked she managed to put depression and anxiety into words!
The Kelp Crown (19 hours ago)
She needs a hug! I need a hug!!!!!
Sarah Luvs Pugs (1 day ago)
Lol just showed this video to my mum. She said "Well I guess she's not trying to help herself" *cri*
Kar Hopkins (1 day ago)
This will always be my fav poem. The fact that she actually had a panic attack during this and kept going is so strong. Love her so much
Traci Copeland (1 day ago)
2:19 and until the end of the vid is 10000000%
greg strong (2 days ago)
is sad i have all of this problems i understand
EllaRawitch (2 days ago)
im watching this and i feel thos
So I stopped going to school for a year and last year I attended school again, whenever I had episodes, I can't get out of bed and can't go to school anymore which of course made my mom mad all the time, I tried telling her that I want to go back to psychiatrist again, she assured me that we will go back but months passed, we didn't. I've gotten worse to the point i didn't attend school for almost two months, and everyday was hell. My Mom would yell at me telling me how mad and disappointed she is,I tried telling her, they're back, the voices, my depression was back, she got mad and told it to my much older cousin, my grandmother and her older sister. They laugh and said fck it's back again? and I clearly heard my mom said If anyone had the right to be depressed it should be her for having a child like me.
Chronically Psychotic (3 days ago)
I know this word by word, and I kinda find it sad now...
Xavier Brewster (3 days ago)
I feel the pain all day everyday from the moment I wake up at 7:25 AM to the moment I fall asleep at 5:00 AM and the knife in the kitchen looks more and more friendly I tell my family and thay don't listen thay think I'm joking
That_girl 14 (3 days ago)
It’s 2019 and it still makes me cry just as much as it did in 2015....
Ryan B (3 days ago)
I got goosebumps when she said “I am afraid of living”
E_ Moonlight_wolf (3 days ago)
She’s shivering so hard I’m you
TerraSorcerel (4 days ago)
Described beautifully and perfectly. That is what depression feels like, it sucks. You feel you should be happy but aren't sure if you really deserve to be happy. You don't want to tell others because you don't want them to carry the burden of knowing the sadness and anger an guilt that you feel every day. Like I said, depression sucks.
lowkey lorna (4 days ago)
She shouts things at the top of her lung that we can’t even say under our breathe
Rasheeda Madani (5 days ago)
I don't see Angels anymore... I see only people with depression!! 💕💕
D&D20 (6 days ago)
“I am afraid of living!” Instant chills
Rachel Rose (6 days ago)
Truth... this is truth...sadly. I used to and still do feel this way... she’s yelling all the things I was always to scared to even think.
heaven xp (6 days ago)
I feel the same
Luna gacha life -o- (7 days ago)
Heh, this makes me realize I have depression, I cut, I cry, I hurt, I lie, I tell my mom “I am fine”, but the only thing I feel inside, is the sadness coming to break my mind, just like everyone broke my trust, my love, my soul, but “I am fine”, I can pretend, and I will, because why bring other people down with you, right...
Britnee Gore (7 days ago)
This breaks my heart. I struggle as well! :( truth!
I told my mom I was depressed last year and the first thing she say was "no you're not" and that was if I was just doing it for attention and now if I seem off the first thing she'll say is "Are you going to cry. Are you depressed." She still likes to deny that something is wrong she says she'll take me to see someone to help me but she never does.
Panic ! (8 days ago)
Person that keep clapping give me anxiety
makhluk mars (8 days ago)
I feel nothing while watching this video. Nothing. Not at all.
Lee Kwan (8 days ago)
My mom keeps telling me I'm imagining stuff and it makes me think I'm crazy when ever I talk
Audrey Newman (8 days ago)
that hit harder than anything
when i see a candle i think of burning myself
vacuumcleaner3000 (8 days ago)
To all of those who disliked, fuck you
Dhruv Agarwal (9 days ago)
That's is something I wish I have strength to say my family
Mia W (9 days ago)
If only i had the confidence and the strength to tell somebody that i feel like this all the time...
Lucas (9 days ago)
This video will have 10 million views in 2021
Jess Price (10 days ago)
‘It’s not that much fun having fun when you don’t want to have fun mom’
Fuzzy GachaBear (10 days ago)
the things she yelled made me cry shes making me cry
Kimiko_Dreemurr Playz (10 days ago)
i found this and i WISH i could say this to SOMEONE. I can't. my mom will blame my father, my dad won't really understand, and my grandma takes everything too personally. THIS IS WHAT I FEEL yet i tell nobody. My friend has depression, most of my friends do. i cover up this pain with a smile- a mask -so no one can see my bottled up emotions. im sorry i got carried away, i just badly needed to vent everything keeping me back.
Reem Salah (11 days ago)
That me... cuz i dont wanna live anymore GOD HELP ME MAKE MY LIFE BETTER PLEASE and im the house maid ... 😫😫😫😫😫😫😭😭😭
Raven The Weirdo (11 days ago)
Explaining my depression: Its like something covering my eyes and blinding me from finding happiness whispering to me that it can help me, whispering that if I eat less I'll be perfect, If I stay quiet i'll feel better and happier. Wrong. It slowly kills me everyday, somedays its a raging fire, other days its as small as a candle flame, It blinds me to the point of not wanting to get out of bed, that it's worthless and a waste of the tiny percentage of energy I have left from constantly staying up night after night crying my eyes out and trying to scream for help yet I can't cause all my hope has drained out of my ice cold heart. It says that i'm fine, and I believe it, when really I can't even find myself in this pitch black sea of negativity that has surrounded me through the years yet I've been to caught up in trying to be perfect I couldn't notice it. Its like i'm a dog and the demon has the chain pulling me by the throat only to want to throw me off a cliff. sometimes I fight back, sometimes I drop dead and let it take me. I've been fighting and staying strong for years but my energy has gone down to the point where I want to give up, but I wont let it take me, not yet..
Niyah's World (11 days ago)
👏🏾thank you
Grace Law (11 days ago)
“My happy is a high fever that will break” this person is incredible
Her:I make planes but I don’t want to go Me:- starts crying and can’t stop- what’s rong with me!! Mom:starts walking down the hallway we’re I am Me:- wipes tears away really fast- Mom:You ok? Me:Y-yeah Mom:Come on your already having problems with this stuff Me:I don’t understand why I......am like this Mom:it’s ok ima get ready for. Work by
Tabatha Dalponte (12 days ago)
Just wanted to say... this poem meant so much to me after my mom passed away. Was a really difficult time. Watched this video a lot. It's a few years later, just happened to run into this. Can't even relate to how she feels, just a memory. So whoever is out there struggling, just know that time heals all things. Even if you don't want it to. This isn't the best you've got. The future has a lot in store.
Mrs. Misty Eyed (12 days ago)
Oh My God She is shaking and I just want to hug her and say I understand
Steven Forman (12 days ago)
very good vid... Thanks a bunch for this. <3
sloth watermelon (12 days ago)
I watched this a million times and every time i go back to this and just lay there feeling triggered by every word she said .
SteveO (13 days ago)
This is me everyday trying to explain my depression,,, I’m so freaking tired, I hate this! I’m ready to go
Havent listened in months. Let's see if I still know all the words
Autisthicc (13 days ago)
The up beat music after that is pure disrespectful
Lizzie Middleton (13 days ago)
She is my role model because she put what almost no one can put into words, Into words. she explains it perfectly.
Carina (13 days ago)
is she discribing my life?
Jessica Larosa (14 days ago)
2019. This shit still amazes me. Truly powerful
Makayla Ward (14 days ago)
That is me im not scared of death im scared of living
Asma Khan (14 days ago)
Her voice is amazing!
Annabelle Mikelson (15 days ago)
Mom, my depression is like a shapeshifter. One day It's as small as a firefly in the palm of a bear, the next it's the bear. On those days, I play dead until the bear leaves me alone.I call the bad days, "The Dark Days". Mom says, "Try lighting candles". But, when i see a candle, i see the flesh of a church, the flicker of a flame. Sparks of a memory younger than noon. I'm standing beside her open casket. It is the moment I learn every person I ever come to know will someday die! Besides mom, I'm not afraid of the dark... Perhaps that's part of the problem. Mom says, " I thought the problem was that you can't get out of bed". I can't!! anxiety holds me a hostage inside.. Inside of my house, inside my mind. Mom says,"Where did anxiety come from?". Anxiety is the cousin visiting from out of town. That depression felt obligated to invite to the party. MOM, I'M AM THE PARTY!!! Only i am a party i don't want to be at. Mom says, "why don't you try going to actual parties see your friends." Sure I make plans, I make plans but i don't wanna go. I make plans because i know i should want to go; i know...Sometimes i would have wanted to go. It's just not that fun having fun when you don't have fun, mom. You see, mom, each night insomnia sweeps me up in his arms, dips me in the kitchen in the small glow of the stove-light. Insomnia has this romantic way of making the moon feel like perfect company. Mom says, " try counting sheep." But my mind can only count reasons to stay awake. So i go for walks. But my stuttering kneecaps clank like sliver spoons held in strong arms with loose wrists they ring in my ears like clumsy church bells, reminding me i am sleep walking on an ocean of happiness.... That ic an not baptize myself in. Mom says, "Happy is a decision" But my happy is as hollow as a pin pricked egg. My happy is a high fever that will break, Mom says "I am so good at making something out of nothing and then flat out asks me if i am afraid of dying. NO, I AM AFRAID OF LIVING!!!!! MOM I AM LONELY!! I think i learned that when dad left....How to turn the anger into the lonely the lonely into busy So, when i say I've been super busy lately... I mean I've been falling asleep watching SportCentre on the couch, to avoid confronting the empty side of my bed. But my depression always drags me back to my bed. Until my bones are forgotten fossils of a skeleton sunken city. My mouth a boneyard of teeth broken from biting down on themselves. The hollow auditorium of my chest swoons with echoes of a heartbeat but i am just a careless tourist here. I will never truly know everywhere i have been. Mom, still doesn't understand...Mom, can't you see.... That neither can I!!
Jennifer Lucio (15 days ago)
I am afraid of lonely
ally. (15 days ago)
‘Why do you have depression?!’ Says mum. ‘The reason I have depression is because of this- because of this anger and yelling.’ Says me. ‘You just can’t control your anger.’ Says mum. ‘Just like I can’t control the fact that I have feelings that aren’t being taken care of because you keep blaming it on other things!’ Says me. ‘I’m not blaming it on other things I’m just saying fact.’ Says mum. ‘The fact is I need help and you’re ignoring me!’ Says me.
Gacha Berry Presents (15 days ago)
My version Of explaining my depression to my mum I lay awake at night wondering where I am I feel as if I am still asleep but the pain in my chest tells me I’m not. Mom says just try falling asleep again it shouldn’t be that hard plus your a little too young for this Too young when will I be old enough I understand what I’m going through so does that not count? My anxiety drags me by my ankles while you stand there watching me get taken away but you don’t care Of course i do sweety I love you and I would never let anything hurt you Well your a bit too late well actually really late so far I’ve learnt some things like heartbreak that can mentally destroy you and my headaches are based on lies I tell myself. Mom says well don’t lie tell the truth it’s better that way Well I would but it’s harder than you think I’ve been through depression and i’m older so i have more experience NO MOM you don’t because you still don’t understand what I’m saying I sit up thinking where did I go wrong in life than I skip back to when I held that knife hand shaking mind rapidly spinning around like a leaf in the wind. Somedays I actually get sleep but depression always finds a way to creep into my head i toss and turn to try and wash away those thoughts but I wake Up seeing a face on the ceiling Mom says who is it? That’s creepy I yell and say It me I’m watching myself sleep and I’m forcing myself to have bad dreams Because I don’t want to be happy anymore Why not? Because If I was then I’d be broken more often So she says try think of something positive But How can I do that if I’m always so sad Well don’t be sad Mom you just don’t get it She says are you afraid of dying No i’m afraid of living Well how come? Because I know as long as i’m alive I can be hurt Well who hurts you? I do
Gacha Berry Presents (16 days ago)
Cold
Kameron Parker (16 days ago)
I just wanna hug her so bad😖
Anthony (17 days ago)
"No, I'm afraid of living". Damn.
Lilika Achumi (18 days ago)
Deep ❤️
kylie ky (18 days ago)
sleepwalking on an ocean of happiness i cannot baptise myself in
Emma (18 days ago)
Someone showed me this a while back and I've never heard someone sum up depression so beautifully in 3 and half minutes it's a lonely cold road, but for everyone out there I beg of you to keep going keep trying and keep expressing things, much love to you all really and truly💘
nj fcx (18 days ago)
“It’s just not that much fun having fun when you don’t want to have fun” That part hit me hard
An Ethereal Bean (19 days ago)
Her voice is extremely capturing.
That Tik Tok Girl (19 days ago)
2:16
That Tik Tok Girl (19 days ago)
2:19
Introvert Obsessions (20 days ago)
I love this so much. I can relate to everything she says.
Lucas (20 days ago)
i've watched this too many times..
Jelle Verbeek (20 days ago)
jesus dude this gets me eeeeverytime wow
Catalina Marquez (20 days ago)
Download SABIO UNIVERSAL App from PLAY STORE. The best App un the world.
cebkidy (21 days ago)
Still one of the best poems I've ever seen
Cassie Sheppard (21 days ago)
I wish I could explain my depression to my mom but all I would get was let’s go to my doctor n get medicine or I get send to a group or to a mental hospital
Ollieol Olives (22 days ago)
She came to my school to perform this poem
Makeda Tomlin (22 days ago)
"An ocean of happiness i cant baptize myself in" wow im to afraid to explain ny depression to my mum😔
Omg. This is awesome.
rohayani (23 days ago)
I have watched this unhealthy amount of times
Elisabeth Weimar (24 days ago)
My days I’m am so good at making nothing out of nothing! Damn... just damn....
Zeba Khan (24 days ago)
Lovely heart touching
I hope she heard this
livetograce (24 days ago)
Baby you help me
cr7lopez12345 (24 days ago)
this weird onna deadlocs
F.A.M. (25 days ago)
So powerful
Henry Maglicic (26 days ago)
this is dumb
lau-anne (26 days ago)
i know this by heart
Haelena (27 days ago)
i watch this whenever i feel like nobody understands what its like
Lindsey Ford (27 days ago)
Your so brave, thank you for this. I have been trying to put my depression n anxiety into words for more years then i can count i sent this to my mother. I know its not about your mother but just haveing someone to understand is a step. Your brave your strong your beautiful! And so talented! Tank you thank you thank you thank you
OmgItz LifeWithGab (1 month ago)
"I am afraid of living" That made me hurt inside.
shieanne giese (1 month ago)
This is how I feel daily.
Shydragon 013 (1 month ago)
“I am afraid of *LIVING! MOM, I AM LONELY!!* “
The Rule Breaker (1 month ago)
Does anyone else like can feel wat she just said when i watch this over n over n i can like feel a pain in my chest n even broke down n cry n something i feel like im just a useless human who is just causing more trouble for my family
Sophia Ellis (1 month ago)
“I’m not afraid of the dark, but perhaps that’s the problem” I didn’t realize I was depressed until I stopped being afraid of everything
Windchaser 56 (1 month ago)
This is beautiful
Bunnykitsu - (1 month ago)
I once told my mom about my depression, she looked at me with pity. Then, days later she forgot about it, forgot about my suffering, my pain. She doesn't care.
seokkrrttt (1 month ago)
ur so annoying w
Novi Gyong (1 month ago)
+The Rule Breaker the man in seokkrrttt's dp
The Rule Breaker (1 month ago)
+Novi Gyong whos ashamed
Novi Gyong (1 month ago)
seokjin is ashamed of you for saying this
The Rule Breaker (1 month ago)
No ur annoying for not understanding the art she had spoken
michelle truax (1 month ago)
I connect with this alot my mom doesnt get it. I dont know where it came from in last 10 yrs. I think i just shoved it away for a number of yrs til i just couldnt anymore
Swaggy Flapjacks (1 month ago)
When I told my mom of my depression and my symptoms she said “Wow, I didn’t think my son was that weak”.
OneSh0tDead 46 (1 month ago)
Wow i have no words
Hannah Rose Reviews (1 month ago)
I feel like Button Poetry is like the poetry version of TedX and I love it SO MUCH!!!!!
samuel Green (1 month ago)
She need some dick
The Rule Breaker (1 month ago)
I dumbass cant u see she is making art n trying to make people feel the pain in her poem

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